Being a parent is tough. We all wonder sometimes if we’re doing a good job, if we’re making the right choices, or if we’re really helping our kids grow into happy, healthy people.
A mom posted this on my TikTok and it got me thinking how sometimes in trying to be perfect we are limiting our children, in fact making them feel suffocated.
Good parenting helps kids grow physically and emotionally. But poor parenting can lead to a lot of struggles. It’s not about making one mistake here or there—it’s about actions that build up over time and have a negative effect.
I find myself being an overly protective parent. For example, many times I make decisions for my child because it seems like the most sensible thing.
But I started realizing as she grows older that I might make her lose her confidence in decision-making, and sometimes I have to step back. Sometimes bad parenting isn’t about being a bad parent but about doing things without realizing how they affect your child.
What Does Bad Parenting Look Like?
Every parent wants the best for their child. But sometimes, we might not realize that some of our habits can actually harm them. Bad parenting isn’t about having a rough day or losing your temper—it’s about patterns that can hurt your child over time.
Take an honest look at your parenting style, but be gentle with yourself. It’s totally normal to make mistakes. We are all human, after all, and as a mom, juggling everything can be overwhelming sometimes. But that does not mean we don’t make room to improve and grow.
Here are some common signs of bad parenting:
Signs of Bad Parenting
- Too Much or Too Little Involvement
Too Much Involvement: If you’re always hovering or making every decision for your child, they might feel smothered and miss out on learning how to be independent.
Example: A “helicopter parent” who won’t let their child make any mistakes on their own.
Too Little Involvement: Not being around enough, whether it’s for emotional support or basic needs like meals and clothing.
- Example: Missing school events or not checking in about how your child’s day went.
2 Lack of Discipline
Kids need boundaries. Without rules, they don’t understand consequences, which can lead to bad behavior.
Too Much Discipline: Being overly strict can stunt emotional growth and lead to resentment or low self-esteem.
Physical Punishment: Physical punishment can damage your child’s confidence and emotional well-being.
Example: Yelling or spanking when a child misbehaves instead of explaining why their actions were wrong.
3 Withholding Affection
Some parents think that withholding love is a good way to discipline, but it just damages a child’s self-esteem.
Comparing to Others: Shaming or comparing your child to others can lead to anxiety or depression.
- Example: Saying, “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?” makes your child feel like they’re not good enough.
If any of these sound familiar, try not to be too hard on yourself. The goal is to learn and grow. Parenting is tough, and no one gets it right all the time.
Related : 10 principles of positive parenting
How Bad Parenting Affects Kids
Bad parenting can have lasting effects. Here are some of the common consequences:
Antisocial Behavior: Kids might struggle to connect with others, which can lead to issues like alcohol or drug use later in life.
Low Resilience: Kids learn how to handle emotions by watching their parents. If parents can’t cope well, their kids might not learn how to deal with tough feelings either.
Depression: Lack of emotional support or harsh treatment can lead to depression.
Relationship Struggles: Growing up in an unhealthy environment can make it hard for kids to build strong relationships as adults.
Dont forget….THE ANXIETY & GROWTH MINDSET KIT aims at helping children realize how special they are
The Power of Self-Reflection
Self-reflection is about learning from your mistakes without beating yourself up. It can help you:
Boost Your Confidence: Understand what you’re good at and what you need to work on.
See Your Patterns: Notice habits that aren’t helpful and start changing them.
Improve Your Relationships: Become more aware of how you treat others, which can lead to better connections.
Taking Care of Yourself
It’s easy to lose yourself in the role of being a parent. But taking care of yourself makes you a better parent, and helps you care for your family more effectively.
- Stay Connected: Spend time with friends and family.
- Share the Load: Let others help with chores around the house.
- Talk About It: Share your feelings with your partner. Don’t keep everything to yourself.
- Avoid Comparisons: Don’t compare yourself to other parents—everyone’s journey is different.
Building Good Communication
Good communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship with your child. Here are some tips to help build that:
- Listen Actively: Listen without interrupting, make eye contact, and show you care.
Example: When your child tells you about their day, put down your phone and give them your full attention.
2. Create a Safe Space: Make sure your child feels comfortable expressing themselves without judgment.
Example: If your child is upset, let them talk it out without dismissing their feelings.
3. Build Trust: Be forgiving and supportive. Show them that you’re always on their side.
Dont forget….THE ANXIETY & GROWTH MINDSET KIT to help children understand anxiety and cope with it.
Positive Parenting Techniques
To create a loving and supportive environment for your child, it’s important to focus on positive parenting techniques. Here are some ideas:
- Use Positive Reinforcement: Praise your child for their efforts, no matter how small.
- Example: Say “I’m proud of you for trying your best” when they face a challenge.
- Set Clear Expectations: Let your child know what you expect in a positive way.
- Example: Instead of saying “Don’t make a mess,” say “Let’s try to keep our room clean together.”
- Be a Good Role Model: Kids learn by watching you. Show them how to handle emotions and challenges calmly.
- Example: If you make a mistake, admit it and show them how to learn from it.
- Encourage Independence: Let your child make their own choices and learn from them.
- Example: Let them pick out their clothes for the day, even if it’s an unusual choice.
Final Thoughts
Parenting is never easy, and it’s normal to have doubts. Bad parenting isn’t about making a mistake here or there—it’s about habits that build up over time. By reflecting on what you do and working to improve, you can make positive changes.
If you’re dealing with serious challenges like emotional or physical abuse, reaching out for professional help is important. And remember, no one is perfect—it’s okay to make mistakes. The most important thing is to keep trying and learning.
Mega Emotion Bundle Sale
Before you go, don’t forget to check out the Mega Emotion Bundle used for helping children manage anxiety and develop a growth mindset attitude
